Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8).
I spent a good part of the morning talking to my dad. He called to just see what I was doing. I told him that I was cleaning and I told him how last week was really rough on me. I didn’t have a good day at all. I slept much of the entire week. My dad was the first person that prayed with me after Tony passed away. It was at a time that the devil had me in his firm grip. I felt so despondent, alone, beaten down; like the whole world was falling apart and I had lost all control over anything.
That is the rub. I should not be trying to have control. I need to turn it over to the Lord. I can’t do any of this without Him. I would be nowhere without Him. It was that day that my dad prayed with me in his driveway as I sobbed endlessly. I felt such a powerful gentle but firm tug on heart, I couldn’t resist it. “It” was the Holy Ghost so I learned from my dad this morning.
I told my dad this exact story just a few moments ago. I had not had time to reflect on my morning with God yet. My dad caught me first. I had not told him about this blog. I explained to him that I did indeed take his advice and listen to gospel music when I get up each morning. But I started feeling like that wasn’t enough. I needed to do more. I didn’t know how or what; I just knew there was an emptiness that I needed to fill.
I went to the grocery store and find a book called “My Prayer Journal – Mornings with God” and I stopped immediately. The book has butterflies on it. That made me do a triple take with this book. Tony knows how much I love butterflies and he told me that if anything happened to him, he would watch over me and let me know he was around whenever I saw butterflies. That promise is one that Tony Holland did not break (but that is a story for another day).
I opened the book and it had a place to read scripture and discuss different parts of the Bible. I thought “Maybe this is what I have been needing. I need to add to my “Mornings with God”. I put the book in the cart and looked down. I ended up walking out of the store with 4 different books – all spiritual and rooted in the Bible in some way, shape or form. One is a book of prayers for when times are rough in your life (which obviously I am going through now).
One of the books is called “Strength for Every Moment” and it breaks down 50 days with scripture and then breakdowns the versions and then has questions that I ask myself in relation to the meaning of the scripture.
How Does This Affect Me?
What Am I Supposed To Be Doing?
What Can I Learn About Christ Today?
Is This What I Need?
So many questions but that is how this blog came about. This is the origin of this labor of love for God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost. I finished my summation to my dad with a comment that leads right to today’s scripture (which I hadn’t read yet). I told my dad how I have faithfully been doing this for the past week. I told him how I tried not to do it one day for no particular reason. I then told my dad;
I don’t know how else to say it but I literally felt like I was being pulled in two different directions. I did not have a choice. I HAD to have my “Morning with God”. It felt so weird to feel like two people were pulling on each arm.
That is when my dad explained that the tug I felt was the Holy Ghost. He then went into a discussion about God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost. It was a great conversation and I learned a lot. My dad also gave me some direction as to where I should go to continue my quest. Originally this blog started out of my love for Tony (and still does) but in just a week, it has become SO MUCH MORE!
Devil, bring it on! I have God on my side and you will NEVER have me! I chose God! The devil can go back to hell because after the cleansing feeling I have had since that day that my dad prayed with me in his driveway; I NEVER want that feeling to go away!
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