He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He is increases strength. (Isaiah 40:29).
I know that God is always there for me. I know that as I grieve the loss of my best friend God is who I need to gather strength. Losing a loved one is extremely devastating. This is especially true when the loss is unexpected. That is one area that I am having difficulty with in that I think of what I would say to Tony if I saw him one more time. There are so many times that I cry because I never got to say good bye.
I know this is a selfish way to think. Tony is no longer in pain and is enjoying seeing his sister who he loved so dearly. I try to think that if Tony is happy and better than I should be happy for him too. But there are so many things that we didn’t get to do. We made so many plans for our future especially moving into a new place.
Tony and I would sit and describe how we saw our future. It was a fun game and it gave each of us such pleasure and the ability to see happiness in our future. I can’t count the times that we would just lay in bed and search for gorgeous places on this earth to put on our bucket list. We then would save this bucket list in a special place so that we could return to the pictures we loved so much whenever we needed some enlightenment.
The bad part is that when I look at these same bucket list places, I began to lose strength and I start resenting not having Tony in my life. I know that I am weak. I need God to help me to be able to enjoy my memories of Tony without the guilt; without the resentment; without the sadness. I want to be able to have wonderful memories of Tony where I don’t end up crying or blaming myself for his death.
I will ask God for the power to resist these pitfalls that the devil has sent for me. The devil has a way of making you think that you are doing better so that you will let down your defenses. The devil waits for us to be weak and when are more weak than when we lose a loved one. I will believe in the power of the Lord. His power is in our innermost being. I need to stay close to that innermost being so I can resist the temptations of the devil.
No matter the time of day or night, God is available. Reach out to Him for help – He never sleeps. ~ T.D. Jakes
Do you feel weak? Where do you search for peace when you are weak? Do you feel the devil tempting you in your weakest moments? Give it to God. Give it to God. And when you think you have failed Him one to many times, remember that God knows your heart and He never sleeps. Cry out to Him. He will give you peace.